Instagram Is Not A Dating Site

Men don't realize it, but they give off subtle clues in their online dating profiles that they may not be worth your time. See what online dating experts say are the 10 biggest red flags. Everybody has Facebook, but not every single person is on Instagram. Furthermore, you don’t need to use your real name on IG, showing that you’ve gone to some lengths to find the object of. If they’re trying to get you off the dating site and on to email or personal instant messaging right from the word go, you should be worrying. Sure they might seem legit, but do yourself a favor and create a different email address exclusively for use in the online dating world, where they won’t be able to get a hold of any of your personal. Unfortunately, Instagram is not all romance and daisies. In some cases, rather than serving as a conduit for an attraction, Instagram is a reminder of what is gone. Forgione began dating. According to a 2017 report by Statista, 61% of Americans aged 18-29 and 44% of Americans 30-59 are currently using a dating site/app or have used one in the past.

You don’t need me to tell you how popular Instagram is right now.

We live in a world where ‘influencers’ and ‘sliding into the DMs’ are phrases heavily engrained into our lexicons. Instagram is fast taking over – not just on social media, but in our dating lives as well.

With over 1 billion active users worldwide, we’re currently witnessing the slow and painful death of Facebook – which only the baby boomers still insist is cool.

And I’m sure you’ve witnessed first hand how Instagram is shaking up the dating scene…

Number closes are fast becoming a thing of the past. Now, when you meet a girl IRL, Instagram exchanges are the socially accepted norm of contact exchange, on a “follow me and I’ll follow you” quid pro quo basis.

Plus, the many features of Instagram – with stories, meme tagging, geo location search, and direct messaging – this creates the perfect pre requisite for a successful dating app. Something Instagram is steadily morphing into.

And as people continue to tire over the superficiality of Tinder and Bumble… Instagram, seen as more “real”, is fast becoming the preferred app of choice for meeting and dating online.

With this in mind, it would be silly to pass up on this gravy train of opportunity and not milk Instagram dry of the womanly juices you can gain from it.

And if you’re not on Instagram already, I hope this post will give you the kick up the ass you so desperately need to make the transition. As I plan to brainwash you on why you absolutely MUST be on the Gram in 2019.

So read on to discover 7 reasons why Instagram can seriously improve your dating life and get you meet ups with girls IRL.

#1 Instagram will get you 50% more matches on dating apps

Unlike us trigger happy men, girls are extremely picky when it comes to swiping right. If a girl is semi keen on your profile, it’s almost a given she’ll take the time to stalk your Instagram before making the final swipe verdict.

And if you don’t link your Instagram with Tinder, Hinge or Bumble, girls will assume your limited selection of photos are either old, fake, or photoshopped to shit.

Girls want a glimpse of the real you (even though Instagram can be pretty fake at the best of times). So if you give users the option to snoop your IG your chances of matching are far greater.

And if your Instagram profile is strategically littered with thirst traps (more on thirst traps later), it’s almost a given she’ll swipe right for you.

#2 No Tinder matches, no problem

The chances of actually matching with a girl you like are pretty slim. This can largely be down to one or two things: Many users on Tinder are inactive yet still pop up within your locational range, or, your Tinder profile gets lost in a sea of horny men backlogging a girl’s swipe queue.

This is where “Tindstagramming” comes in handy. A term coined to describe the act of stalking a girl’s Instagram linked with her Tinder bio and then proceeding to slide into her Insta DMs. Often used as a backup option if you fail to get a match, this forward approach to picking up girls from Tinder does occasionally work.

However this semi-stalkerish tactic is becoming harder and harder to pull off. I guess women aren’t too happy with creepy Tinder guys DMing them…

Because of this, both Tinder and Bumble no longer display users’ Instagram handles. Instead, they state something vague like “Emily’s Instagram”. Making it trickier business to hunt these girls down.

However, you can still find some diamonds in the rough. Around 15% of users specifically state their IG handles in the bios. These girls are either wannabe influencers looking for new followers, or they’re simply crying out to be DM’d. Assume the latter and Tindstagram accordingly 😉

Failure to that, you can level up your stalker game by Google reverse image searching a girl’s Instagram pics linked to her Tinder profile. This method should yield her IG handle in the search results.

But word of warning, if she replies to your DM, maybe don’t tell her the lengths you went to hunt her down… as this wouldn’t be considered romantic.

And if you are considering going down the ‘Tindstagram’ route… don’t just straight up DM a girl from Tinder. Instead, like a few of her photos first, then wait it out 24 hours before shamelessly sliding into her DMs.

#3 You can fake your social proof on Instagram

Whenever you exchange Insta’s with a girl, the first thing she’ll look at is your ‘followers’ count – how many people follow you.

This figure is a good barometer of social proof. Basically to determine whether or not you’re a fun outgoing person who has a large social circle. And whether or not you’re interesting enough to warrant a follow back.

A high follower count will grab her attention. She’ll think, “oohh this guy must be interesting…” then *proceeds to scroll through your entire feed*. It’s akin to a shocking news headline which hooks you in, like clickbait, to read on.

So naturally, the more followers you have the better. And today, in a world of influencers and wannabe influencers, any follower count in the 10k+ range is applauded with this facial expression:

But don’t worry if your follower count would fail to gain the Queen’s approval. It can be easily manipulated. You can turn your Billy no mates figure into celebrity status overnight.

There are dozens of follow bots on the interwebs at your disposal. Sites like Instaboostgram and iDigic where you can buy 1k followers for as little as $10. I did exactly that to boost my measly 250 followers into 1,500 overnight.

You can also buy likes for feed posts, and install crafty bots to auto follow users and get natural followers in return. So there are many shortcuts available to boost your social proof and make you more attractive to the girls who find you on the Gram.

#4 Instagram > number exchanges

It’s about time we saw the death of number exchanges. From a dating perspective, there are so many flaws to this impractical and antiquated form of contact exchange.

Why? Two reasons:

1. Number exchanges are intrusive af. Exchanging telephone numbers is somewhat a breach of your privacy. You run the risk of exchanging numbers with a psycho who would consider leaving 100 missed calls to be acceptable behaviour.

Because of this, girls are more reluctant to hand over their digits. It creates a higher barrier to entry and a bigger commitment than an IG follow. So unless you make an awesome first impression, expect a girl to give you a fake number, or just straight up reject you.

But on the other hand with Instagram exchanges, you’re onto a winner. Girls love the prospect of a new Insta follower to bump their numbers. Especially wannabe influencers…

So this makes Instagram exchanges an easy sell over a number exchange.

Plus, if you made a shit first impression IRL, you can turn a cold exchange into a warm one purely by having a strong Insta account.

If your above the fold (first 6-9 photos on your profile) are awesome, and you’ve amassed a high follower count, there’s a high chance a girl will reply to your first message, even if you made a poor first impression in person.

2. Number exchanges are impractical. Not only do you run the risk of making a typo punching her number to your phone, but heavy drinking combined with memory loss doesn’t help the situation either.

All you’re left with is a number and name on your phone. So if you’re blind drunk when exchanging details, your memory of the girl and what she looked like might be somewhat blurry the following morning.

This is why exchanging Instagrams is far easier. It’s visual – you have a face and a hundred photos to a name.

And the process of exchanging Instagrams is far simpler too. You just hand a girl your phone with the search tab up and ask her to input her handle. She’ll find her profile and press ‘follow’ right there in front of your eyes.

So unlike exchanging numbers, which is much like solving the Da Vinci code when drunk, Instagram is quick and error-free.

Drunken tip: If you happen to be blind drunk when exchanging Instagrams, screenshot her profile immediately after adding her. This way, if she doesn’t follow you back straight away, you can easily find her the following morning.

Instagram also eliminates first message writer’s block. Unlike with number exchanges and alcohol induced memory loss, thinking up a first text on Instagram is as easy as 123 – you have a bucket load of photos to work with to help craft the perfect DM. So if you have zero recollection of meeting her in person, instead, you can simply start off with a funny dig specific to one of her recent pics.

#5 Instagram is a haven for resurrecting ghosts

With Instagram you have a number of creative ways to get a girl who’s ghosting you, back from the dead:

• cross-app messaging
• Instagram stories
• Meme tagging

Cross-app messaging

If you’re messaging a girl on WhatsApp, FB messenger, IOS, or whatever other App you’re using, and she’s ghosting you – just message her on Instagram instead…

Rather than send her double or triple texts on the same platform, with cross-app messaging you can wipe the slate clean. It’s like the elephant in the room (her ghosting you) no longer exist. And with this, you’re more likely to get a DM back.

Why? Because cross-app messaging removes the guilt for her of not getting back to you before. She won’t see the 10+ needy messages stacked up above your most recent message 😉

Instagram stories

There is no better way to force a reply than DMing a reaction to a girl’s Insta story. It’s been psychologically proven to work…

The reason we post photos and videos on social media in the first place is because, we as humans, crave attention and validation. And every time we get that validation in the form of a ‘like’ or a ‘comment’, our brain releases dopamine, the pleasure chemical associated with the good shit 😉

So by replying to a girl’s Insta story, you’re playing with the dopamine driven feedback loops she is craving from posting the story in the first place.

The dopamine high she’ll get from receiving a story reply will be enough to get her DMing you back. Regardless of how much you’ve already fucked up with your messaging before.

Meme tagging in the comments

Meme tagging is a fun, carefree way to wipe the slate clean. Similar to cross-app messaging, meme-tagging removes the guilt of a girl not DMing you back. If you tag a girl in a LOL meme, it subtly communicates you’re a carefree guy who’s isn’t butt hurt about being on the receiving end of a ghosting lockdown.

The more tailored the meme is about HER the better. If she fully relates to it in a “that’s sooo me” kind of way, the more likely she is to reply in the comments, or better, DM you back.

#6 Dating is no longer a guessing game thanks to Instagram

You now have raw statistical data to determine whether a girl likes you or not!

Think you’ve lost a girl for good? You can now perform a social science test to confirm whether or not your suspicions are true…

And that’s all possible with ‘Instagram Stories’. The feature that allows you to post snippets of your life – photos and videos to your profile, which vanish in a puff of smoke after 24 hours.

If you’ve posted stories to Instagram before, you’ll be familiar with the story ‘viewers count’ feature:

This sneaky little number (only available on stories and highlights) shows you exactly WHO’s watched your story. Basically who is interested enough to see what you’re up to.

And if you post stories a lot, you’ll notice a consistent trend with who views your stories…

Your most avid fans will either be your current love interests (girls you’ve recently fucked, or in the pursuit of fucking), your best friends, family, exes, stalkers, or your enemies / bitter rivals from the past.

Basically anyone who cares about you – whether in a positive or negative way – will take the time to watch your shit.

So what this means is this. You can use this feature to gauge whether or not a girl who’s ghosting you, is still interested in you.

It’s kinda like the last hurrah to determine if you’ve lost a girl for good. Because if she’s ghosting your DMs, plus she’s not watching your stories, then she’s almost definitely a lost cause.

However, if she’s ghosting your messages but still viewing your stories, then you still have a chance. She still cares, or is at least still intrigued to see what you’re up to. And any girl still visible on your radar is worth chasing.

So with this data you can turn cold girls you thought were dead and buried, back from the dead, and interested in you again. All thanks to Instagram 😉

#7 The power of thirst traps

The Urban Dictionary defines a thirst trap as “any statement or picture used to intentionally create attention or “thirst”.

Thirst traps are a super powerful way to unleash a girl’s sexual desire for you and get her chasing you.

And there is no better platform to create sexual ‘thirst’ than Instagram. So if you strategically start using Instagram to plant these traps, your dating life will improve exponentially.

Why? Because you can use thirst traps in a multitude of ways – to setup dates, escape the friend zone, to mind f*ck an ex, and to litter your feed with eye candy to almost guarantee a girl will respond to your DMs.

So whenever you post on Instagram, you should always have an ulterior motive at play. The sole reason I ever post is to specifically target one or two girls in the hope of forcing a reaction – ideally in the form of a DM or better, to warm a girl up for a date.

When I post thirst traps, they usually fall under two categories:

• Cool shit
• And ‘timely’ posts

Cool shit

Instagram Dating Search

‘Cool shit’ thirst traps are best posted to your feed. This way they’re always visible on your profile, as eye candy, for new followers to see.

I post stuff like surfing, dirt biking or shots of nights out partying – to reflect my personality and passions in life. I strategically mix in a few topless shots of me surfing amongst some badboy esq pics to lure in the punters 😉

The goal of these thirst traps is to make girls wonder about you – they can help you escape the friendzone if you sexualise them enough, and they can dramatically increase your chances of getting a girl responding to your DMs.

‘Timely’ posts

Timely posts are best delivered as Instagram Stories. The aim of a timely post is to setup dates and meet ups. With this crafty method, you specifically target one or two girls you have in mind, and post a story to subtly let them know you’re nearby and available to meet up.

I jump around living in London, Bali, and Sydney, Australia, so whenever I return to a city like Sydney, I post a story of me touching down at the airport. The intention of this kind of post is simple – to get locally based girls reacting to my story (or at least viewing it).

And with this, you can setup dates before you even get the chance to grab your luggage off the carousel belt.

Another great use for ‘timely’ posts is to share stories of you on nights out. This way you can target a specific girl to come join you at a club.

So as you can see, thirst traps are an extremely powerful way to get you more dates – so booby trap your feed and stories accordingly 😉

Wrapping it up

Hopefully I’ve given you more than enough reasons to jump on the Instagram bandwagon and showed you it’s potential for dating rather than just as an app for posting artsy, hipster photos.

Because if you start using Instagram like a dating app, your dating life will improve tenfold.

And while Instagram will very much be at the forefront of our dating lives going forward, it’s best to embrace it and enjoy the ride 😉

Special Projects Deputy Editor

Since the launch of Tinder in 2012, dating apps have entirely changed the way we pursue love interests and navigate romantic situations. The days of meeting someone at church or going to bars to pick up possible suitors are not completely gone, but they are numbered. Hitting on a stranger in person is, in many places, no longer viewed as socially acceptable. Meanwhile, thanks to diverse users on apps, singles have more direct access to love interests of different racial and ethnic backgrounds, which has caused a spike in interracial dating.

But while dating apps have positively impacted the romance landscape for many of us, social media platforms like Twitter and Instagram might be better for vetting.

From computer screen to phone screen

Long before Tinder, in 1994, there was Kiss.com. Match.com started a year later, making online dating the new strategy for coupling up. The early dating websites, which required users to set up profiles and sometimes answer hundreds of questions about themselves, created a personal and intimate experience between two strangers like never before. The downside: oftentimes the sites required paid memberships, and matches were based on similarities in profiles rather than freedom of choice. Then came personal ads on Craigslist, where anyone could post a listing, free of charge, and publicize themselves as available. The phenomenon was short-lived after the rise of catfishing and the infamous Craigslist Killer scandal, as finding love in an online marketplace didn’t allow much room for proper screening.

Tinder, the first dating app to present the swipe and double opt-in feature, created a new era of dating, solving many of the problems online daters ran into before. Location-based, easy to join, and free of charge, Tinder became the obvious go-to in online pursuits. While it’s still the most downloaded dating app, responsible for nearly 2 billion swipes a day, Tinder isn’t the best app for evaluating a potential partner. Yes, you’re allowed 500 characters to describe yourself in your bio, but the app has adopted a norm, especially for men, of having little to no bio. Other dating apps like Hinge and Bumble have features to help users decide if someone is actually compatible with them. Hinge suggests “most compatible” pairings to users daily, and requires everyone to pick three questions to answer about themselves. Bumble puts the ball in the woman’s court, meaning men can’t get away with cringey bios and scant information if they want to receive a message.

Cognitive swiping and evaluating

Whether you use dating apps, dating websites, matchmakers, or good old-fashioned recommendations from friends, you’re almost always cognitively swiping on people, especially on social media.

Twitter and Instagram were created for social networking, not romance. It isn’t surprising, though, that people are meeting on these platforms, where casual stalking will teach you a lot about someone you don’t know, connecting based on similarities is more common, and flirting can be demonstrated through likes.

You can learn a lot about someone’s interests and political views through the content they share and favorite on platforms like Twitter and Instagram. On Twitter, we mostly find new people to follow when their tweets are retweeted onto our timeline by someone we already follow. It’s safe to say the tweet has a better-than-average chance of resonating with you since it already has been filtered by somebody else in your network.

Instagram is a bit more curated, but still has its usefulness for would-be daters. Users can form a sense of someone’s personality and interests by watching their stories, typically a more lucid statement than a posted image. Tagged photos also reveal moments that don’t always make the grid, giving you a more in-depth look at someone’s personal life.

Facebook, on the other hand, is normally reserved for connecting with people you already know. The more-personal platform is usually private; friend requests typically aren’t made between absolute strangers. But on Twitter and Instagram, a stranger following you doesn’t feel like a breach of privacy because information on those platforms is designed to circulate more freely.

Scrolling through a potential partner’s tweets or Instagram posts is arguably a mild form of stalking. But a public profile is fair game these days. A 2019 study conducted by WhoIsHostingThis.com found that 79% of people looked up their matches on social media before meeting them in person, while 57% friended or followed their matches on social media before meeting in person.

Social media apps allow us to form opinions about our love interests that can’t be determined as easily on dating apps. We may not always be correct in our stance, but it does save us time and potentially creates safer dating scenarios. When someone has a Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram account, it provides us with a list of mutual friends—another indication that this person is who they claim to be and we could ask someone about them, if we’re bold enough.

A few times, I’ve matched with people on dating apps that I had already been following on Instagram or Twitter—and because they were already within my periphery, I felt both safer and more obligated to set a date with them, versus with a complete stranger who could fabricate their background.

Instagram Dating App

In conclusion, I’ll probably continue to keep my dating apps until I find my soulmate, but I doubt I’ll meet that person there. Auspiciously, I believe they’re already out there, being followed online by a few of my friends already, waiting for me to stumble across their posts.